


The Puppeteer

by Mother_North



Series: Dark Matter II [3]
Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Manipulation, Fantasizing, Jealousy, Lust, M/M, Post-Relationship, SC 2019, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 11:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21409591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_North/pseuds/Mother_North
Summary: A mere doll…I am your mere doll.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu, Yuzuru Hanyu/Camden Pulkinen
Series: Dark Matter II [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1395562
Comments: 12
Kudos: 52





	The Puppeteer

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: Skate Canada International 2019. Drama TM.
> 
> RPF disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and it is not meant to offend anyone. It is a product of author’s imagination only. All thoughts, actions and emotions described below have nothing to do with reality.

**

Javier is closing his eyes, exhaling slowly.

_Just take a breath, take a breath – one at a time…_

His eyes are stinging, eyelids heavy. There’s a clamour of tremendous applause still echoing in his ears; the rapture of the audience going wild during Yuzuru’s performance and the impulse of raw energy that could be sensed even through the monitor of his laptop. He is staring at _his_ pixel-made face greedily; a pale spot in sharp contrast to the gloomy blueness of the surrounding darkness of the arena.

_His_ body was singing to the sensual guitar riffs, just as graceful as ever: movements turned into sheer perfection in motion, unearthly plasticity and the self-assured little smirk that made the corners of _his_ lips curve the way that has always made Javier go weak in the knees. And then there came _the axel_ – backcounter entry and the cocky leg swing to coax ecstatic screams out of the public.

Yuzuru gives himself to the music entirely but he is not the same boy he used to be, when he was skating _The Parisienne Walkways_ for the first time years ago.

That boy now only exists in Javier’s own memories along with his cute smile, ringing laugh and his touching desire to be liked – by him, by his coaches, by the whole wide world. He wanted to become the best vigorously, to make Javier’s quad salchow his and the thing is – he really _did_, getting Javier’s heart as a bonus along the way.

Javier is watching the final number of the exhibition gala concert: first, the official ISU stream version and then the fancams that appear online one by one. He is studying the smallest of gestures and the fleeting glances, trying to analyze each one of them. He notices the way yesterday’s American junior Camden Pulkinen is looking at Yuzuru with a barely concealed adoration in his brown eyes. Even if he tried, Javier wouldn’t be able to take it as something purely platonic, there’s a distinct glint of desire in Camden’s dilated pupils, his eyes raking over Yuzuru’s whole body like there’s no tomorrow.

Intense physical pull is melting the ice, an undeniable tension sparkling between the two.

_Carpe diem._

They are goofing around together, their laughter vibrant and uninhibited and it makes Javier clench his jaws painfully hard. There’s also _Keiji_ of course, but he is not quite Yuzuru’s type so at least when it comes to him Javier is able to throw away his nagging concerns and pitiful jealousy.

The moment Yuzuru is taking a deep breath, getting ready to scream his traditional “Arigatou gozaimashita” Javier snaps the laptop lid shut in irritation.

He feels grossly, irrevocably old… _ancient_ in fact.

He is dragging his leaden body to the lonely, cold bed to fall on his back and to lie motionlessly, staring into nothingness. There is a red bulb blinking inside his mind to the rhythm of his accelerated heartbeat: “_Do not think!_” but it’s too late already.

The thing is Javier misses _this_ terribly and he has no more inner resources to pretend that he is not. He misses the ice, the rapture of wilding public but most of all he misses Yuzuru: his hypnotizing smile and a pair of bottomless dark eyes in which he used to drown without an ounce of regret.

Javier is turning to lie on his side, deafening silence seeping beneath his skin, except for the sound of his own heartbeat fluttering against his ribcage. He is aware that the sleep won’t come for a long time. There’s too much of _him_ in his thoughts and soul and yet, he finds himself desperately aching for more in a very _physical _way.

He is dying to touch the tiny mole just beneath the ear with his lips, tracing the sensitive skin over there with the tip of his tongue, to later sink his teeth into the elegant long neck, making Yuzuru shiver all over.

Javier keeps on fantasizing about Yuzuru _with_ Camden in the best of masochistic traditions. He is biting his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, letting his imagination run wild and torture him with gusto, as the obscene pictures unfolding themselves in front of his mind eye.

Yuzuru is holding Camden by the hand, taking him down the deserted hotel corridor to his room; the door shuts with a quiet click and they are finally alone. Yuzuru doesn’t let Camden take initiative in their heated kissing, tongues battling for dominance only shortly, to let Yuzuru’s full lips claim the willing boy’s mouth again and again in a whirlwind of naked lust. Yuzuru is kissing Camden authoritatively, deeply, as post-performance adrenaline is coursing in his bloodstream, rapture of the audience still echoing in each cell of his body.

Javier is breathing hard now.

However Yuzuru wouldn’t let the over-eager boy too much at the very first night, at least Javier desperately wants to believe it. Perhaps Camden would caress his wasp waist and taut stomach with feathery and a bit tentative touches of his fingertips, his hands finding their way underneath Yuzuru’s t-shirt; perhaps he would pinch and twist the small sensitive nipples, his palms then sliding down to the delectable ass to give it a firm squeeze through the fabric of tight pants.

Javier is thinking of Camden’s lips moving down Yuzuru’s long neck, of his teeth grazing the protruding collarbone, trembling from acute arousal mixing with the disbelief of what is currently happening between the two of them in the darkness of the stuffy hotel room.

Javier is positively sure that Yuzuru would throw Camden’s hand away the moment he would try to snake it into his pants to touch the hot velvety skin of his. Yuzuru would shove him away, so that Camden would lose balance momentarily, taking several wobbly steps backwards to only find himself trapped with his back against the nearest wall.

Javier knew like no one that Yuzuru likes to lead; he is _the puppeteer_ and they are his obedient, submissive dolls to play with. He is pulling at their strings masterfully and he is the director of his own stage play, the final word always has to be his and his alone.

Yuzuru is kneeling in front of Camden. He is opening the fly of his jeans in a teasingly unhurried manner, beginning to stroke the throbbing cock languidly, mild disinterest paired with wicked glee written all over his pale countenance.

Yuzuru would caress Camden exquisitely, bringing him close to the edge, making him balance over the precipice of pleasure to only stop abruptly, satisfied with the whiney breathless pleas escaping the boy’s bitten lips. He would make him beg in earnest in exactly the same way he made Javier beg countless times in their shared past.

_He_ would give the sensitive head a kitten lick and Camden would cry out helplessly, unable to hold back, drunk on his maddening lust; _he_ would watch the sperm leaking down his delicate fingers to drip onto the carpeted floor with a subdued hunger in his dark eyes.

Afterwards, _he_ would leap to his feet immediately, cleaning his hand with Camden’s crumpled t-shirt unceremoniously. _He_ would look away, not wanting to meet the boy’s gaze and uneasy silence hanging between the two of them will stretch painfully, suffocating; the air of the hotel room smelling of sweat and sperm and raw sex.

Perhaps Camden would try to reach him then, hand aiming to touch his tensed shoulder, would try to look into his distant eyes, their glazed beauty unmatched.

The feeling of sweet elation from being in charge, the intoxication of being high on one’s own power tends to turn sour too fast. Then, there comes the bitter realization that this is not how it’s all supposed to be.

Yuzuru would squirm out of unwanted embrace, whispering under his breath: _I am sorry_ and Javier is smiling at this picture in his head.

If he were in Camden’s place, he wouldn’t back down so easily. He would have grabbed Yuzuru’s fragile wrist, he would have buried his fingers in his dark locks, making him throw his head back; he would have pressed Yuzuru’s small frame into his, he would have made him moan into his mouth wantonly. He wouldn’t just stick to the role of a will-less rag-doll…

All of a sudden, Javier is swept with an unconquerable urge to call Yuzuru. He needs to hear his voice, he needs to make sure that he is _alone_ right now.

Cursing his own weakness and its prime source, Javier dials Yuzuru’s number with shaking fingers. Yuzuru doesn’t respond for what seems like an eternity.

“Javi?”

Being able to finally hearing him speak makes Javier’s heart skip a beat.

“Hello, Yuzu! I am calling to say that I have watched all of your performances at Skate Canada. What a total blast! I am blown away! My congratulations! And how on earth do you always manage to deliver again and again, time after time?!”

Javier is sensing his cheeks turning crimson. He is all ears now, trying to decipher and catch the tiniest change in Yuzuru’s intonation and timbre, the smallest intake of breath, the vaguest of sounds in the background.

Yuzuru is sounding husky and exhausted, words spilling from his lips unhurriedly, drawn out. Javier’s initial patience is running thin quickly and he can’t fight an impulse to ask the only question that truly interests him, his voice rising dangerously:

“Are you alone at the moment?”

A quiet laughter serves him as an answer. Javier hardly doubts that Yuzuru is perfectly aware of the true meaning behind his question.

“And what do you think?”

“I think that the second you crook your finger, the boy would jump directly into your bed without a word! That’s why I am actually asking but… _Fuck it_!”

Yuzuru is staying silent for a humiliatingly long pause and Javier’s blood is roaring in his temples.

“Well, to tell the truth, I have entertained this tempting scenario in my thoughts. His smile is so bright and he is looking at me with practically _your_ adoration. But at the same time, it won’t get me anywhere. It is a stub ended track…I am fed up with sex for the sake of sex. It leaves hollowness inside…ugly and sick and…Everything comes to an end eventually, right, Javi?”

_Alone._

Javier is biting his lips, letting out a sigh of relief, yet there’s distinct bitterness spreading in his chest like slow venom, Yuzuru’s question reminding him once again that _they are over_.

“Wanting to make me suffer again, Yuzu?”

“Not at all. You are torturing yourself, Javi. As if I don’t know what exactly you were thinking while watching all of my performances tonight! How many times have you re-watched them, huh?! How many?! Tell me! I know you still _want_, Javi… ”

Javier’s fingers are squeezing his mobile phone so hard they go white-knuckled and his voice is trembling miserably as he interrupts Yuzuru:

“Let me remind you that it was _not_ _me_ who cheated with that Chinese ice-dancer, _not me_ who pushed you away, _not me_ flirting with practically everyone around, _not me_ choosing _not you_!” Javier is shouting now, distress and hurt ringing in his voice.

“You thought I was your doll to play with in whatever manner you see fit! You liked driving me mad, making me lose my mind from jealousy, making me crawl to you on my hands and knees, my dignity thrown away to just beg you to…”

Yuzuru is laughing at the other end of the line and Javier wants nothing more than to make him shut up with a savage kiss.

“Why are you calling me then, Javi? If you are not my plaything anymore…”

“Fuck you! Fuck you!”

It’s nothing short of a miracle that Javier’s mobile phone doesn’t end up smashed to pieces against the wall after he finishes the call abruptly. There’s an explosive cocktail of various emotions circulating in his veins, making him shudder from head to toe: humiliation, jealousy and ravenous, inconceivable _want_.

He feels like an idiot again, despising his own weakness and his unquenchable thirst for Yuzuru, his acute dependency on his ex-lover, as if he was a dose of morphine and Javier a severe drug-addict.

Javier gets undressed, his numb feet bringing him to the bathroom. Scorching shower water is flogging at his tensed shoulders and back, as he is moving his hand in a detached and almost mechanical manner, fingers closing around the pulsing head of his painfully hard cock.

_Yuzuru…Yuzuru…Yuzuru…_

_I want you. I want to be inside. I want to lose myself in you. I don’t want to find a way out of your trap. I want to be yours fully and without a remnant. Make me your prisoner again. I want you to engulf me. I want you to make me burn, so that only ashes remain. I want to be yours, only yours…_

_Yuzu… _

It takes only several rough tugs, for a bleak orgasm to wash over Javier; whiteness exploding at the back of his closed eyelids briefly to be swallowed by the total darkness. 

_A mere doll._

_I am your mere doll._

**


End file.
